Brigham's Obituary

     Brigham Adam Welch was surrounded by his adoring family when he peacefully passed away on July 16, 2015 in American Fork, Utah.

Brigham was the 3rd child of Adam & Rebecca Welch of Provo, Utah, with older sisters Olivia (5) and Asia (3). While Brigham's time on earth was brief, he taught many about Courage, Love, Faith and Eternal Families. Anencephaly took his mortal life, but his spirit and influence will be with us forever. Go Team Briggs!

     We will be honoring Brigham with Funeral Services on Wednesday, July 22nd at 10:00 am at 350 West 700 North in American Fork. Internment will shortly follow at American Fork Cemetery

Brigham's Song

Our Angel Brigham

For God has taught us all, that we must follow there is a call

For all his children on this earth, there was a plan set before we came

He's mindful of our trials, that we must conquer all the while 

But with his guiding love we feel He's always with us lifting us

Our Brigham was sent to us, to teach us of love and the plan

His life was so short to us, but he conquered all that was planned

That was planned

His body which had this flaw, was made so perfect by God's own law

We see the purpose of his life he merely taught us how to live

I hope we can live here, to make him proud of all held dear

He will be with us all throughout he is our angel, forever

Our Angel was sent to us, to teach us of love and the plan

His life was so short to us, but he conquered all that was planned

That was planned

Lyrics and music by: Becca Welch

Cello played by: Adam Welch

post recovery without my Brigham

     Well, I knew this would happen and it still hurt more than I could have ever imagined.  I am now exactly 2 days after Brigham was born and I am having the wonderful post-partum symptoms but without my little Brigham to hold.  Sitting on ice packs, engorged and in pain, and then adding to is the knowledge that my sweet little Brigham's body is in some metal container at the mortuary.  The birth and even the death was such a sweet experience for all involved, but now physically being removed from him and knowing that it is a final thing, it is a hard pill to swallow.

     Today we went to the mortuary to figure out the details of the funeral... That was hard walking in those doors.  When we parked I couldn't get out of the car without saying a prayer.  Prayers are literally how I am getting by right now and I knew I would need the extra strength to make all the decisions that were necessary for my sweet Brigham.  We picked out the casket, planned details and looked at headstones.  We wanted to see Brigham's body with all our heart, but they had special chemicals on his head to help heal it for the funeral and we thought it might not be good to see him.  How could we be so close to his sweet little body and not see him...?.? This whole situation is just beyond my comprehension and I honestly at times feel like there is no way I can move forward and get through it, but I am somehow making it by everyday...every hour.... every minute.  My sweet Heavenly Father and Briggs is helping me get through. 

     Coming home today we noticed all these beautiful blue ribbons around our neighborhood, everyone had them tied around some tree or something in their yard.  I was touched and extremely humbled by all the wonderful love and support everyone has shown us.  Briggs truly has brought the spirit of Christ to all who knows him.  I love that this boy has touched so many lives and I am even more honored that I am his mother.  In the coming days I have more heartache to go through with dressing him, funeral, missing him, and so on.... but through this all I know I will get through it because my Briggs is on the other side cheering his mom on!!! I love you Briggs and I will stay strong for you sweet boy!

hardest moment of my life

      I woke up to a new nurse named Michele. when she walked in the room she said there was such a special feeling in the room. As the day progressed it just got harder. Today was by far the hardest day of my life. I had to give my sweet little Brigham's body to the mortuary. It was harder than when he passed away. Today we were going to wake up and have Olivia and Asia come and see Brigham for the last time before we all needed to say goodbye. We were going to leave and have the mortuary come and get Brigham the same time. We thought if we could do it as a family it would be healing for the girls. 11:30 came and I could not say goodbye to my boy. It was the one thing I dreaded from even when I was diagnosed. There is something about having your baby in your arms and not wanting to give that up. We spent the morning with the girls playing with him and doing fun things by his side. Some family came back and saw him and held him, but the majority of the day was our little family together. We enjoyed having all the family laying in our bed and snuggling with our little boy.
     We had tried to prepare Olivia and ourselves for this day, but that was impossible to do. As the hour got closer so did the emotions. About an hour before they were coming I broke down so hard. Adam and I snuggled him and cried our eyes out. I had never felt such pain and heartache. We had been blessed to be able to hold and have his body with us for 24 hours.  His body didn't get hardly stiff at all and he looked so good in the morning.  We changed his clothes and had a family prayer.  During the prayer we were all crying. It was a moment I will never forget, our first and final family prayer with Brigham. After the prayer the tears kept coming and Olivia was struggling. she had held it together so well the entire time, but now she new it was the last time seeing Brigham's body. She understood that his spirit was in heaven, but like her parents she had the comfort of having his physical body to love.
     We then all walked down to the front of the hospital. Adam held Brigham while me and the girls were wheeled from the nurse.  Giving little Brigham to the mortuary was physically unbearable. Olivia was crying and didn't want to leave him and I put off leaving him for hours because I couldn't face it. As we got to the curb Olivia was crying so hard saying "I want to go with baby Brigham"  This was so hard to hear and see and just broke our hearts.  As she was getting in the car Adam and I had to get the courage to hand our sweet boy off to the mortician.  It was the most vivid and heart wrenching experience.  I didn't think I could find the courage, but I had to be strong for my beautiful girls and for our sweet Brigham who I knew was safe up in Heaven.  Adam and I handed him over to him and both held each other.  As we drove away, both girls were in the car crying holding their Brigham bears.  We left the hospital parking lot singing our "Brigham Song" families can be together forever.  After a couple songs they calmed down and both fell asleep.  
     I hope this experience does not scare Olivia or Asia and through it all I hope they find peace and know that Brigham is in a happy place and is watching over us in every hard thing we face.  He is there beside us in spirit cheering us on. I know I will find strength in the future. But for now I am aching for my sweet boy and leaving his body was a true realization that he is gone.

Delivery story of our sweet Brigham

Birth of Brigham

     Came in at 9 pm on wed July 15th. Started cervadil, which is an insertion that helps ripen the cervix at about 11:30. When we started it I was dilated to a 1, but baby still floating everywhere due to the high fluid. Got Iv and tried to rest through the night, which ended in me waking up every 15 mins with contractions and cramps. Nurse checked me at 3 am and almost at 2.  Dr bean came in at 6:30 am and checked me and I was at a 2. He then tried to break water with an amnio hook and it hurt really bad because the baby was so far up. He wasn't sure he broke it, but after he left I started to have fluid leak. And the nurse said that was a good thing because it just would slowly leak more as I contracted.  
     But about 7:30 we started pitocin, which would help me contract more often. I was already contracting a lot 2-3 mins apart, but we thought it would help. At about 10 am dilated to a 3 then at about 12 dilated to a 4, then at 230 I was dilated to a 5. About 10 mins after being dilated to a 5 I started having more pain and pushed my epidural button. Then all of a sudden the pain was so bad I was crying and my nurse knew something was wrong. She immediately checked me for bleeding and then she checked me and I was 8+. She said baby is coming now and we have to call dr bean.  She then had multiple nurses come in and tried to hold me off. It was so crazy that within 10 mins I went from a 5-10 ready.  I felt as if something was between my legs and it was quite an odd feeling. She said he was right there, but we had brought in the ultrasound because at the previous check she could feel digits and she didn't know if it was toes or hands. She would check me and  then he would literally play with her fingers when she was up there.
     I had a quite emotional time when I was overwhelmed and told her I didn't want to have him yet..... It worried be that he would not be born alive and that there would be complications.... But Mary Ellen was my nurse and she calmed me down so fast and reassured me that I was going to have him and would do great. Before I knew it there were 4 nurses in there and I was squeezing my legs.
     When the doc showed up he was quite surprised I went so fast:) I started pushing about 2:45 and with every push there was a big balloon looking thing popping out. I could tell by both Adam and doctors faces that it was odd. I thought my water broke with my sac, but the nurse said that everyone has 2 membranes in the womb, but they are usually fused together so it always seems like one. But in my case between layers of the sac I had liters of fluid.  With this fluid balloon they thought it was going to make a huge splash so everyone covered up with a gown and face mask.
     When I started to push I felt like things were going well, until he said his hands kept blocking up the canal and were wanting to come first. He didn't was to break the water because that would mean everything would need to come fast and he was in no hurry and he didn't know what body part was presenting. (Butt-legs, or head-hands).  His face said and showed the concern and maybe confusion all in one. After about 20 mins of pushing I could see that we were in a sticky situation and that we needing him out if he was going to make it at all. I instantly had an overwhelming feeling to have Adam give me a blessing.
    When Mary Ellen told me that we were having the baby, it was quite a shock to all of us in the room and then I sent Amy out to get the family all together by the door to be ready to come in as soon as he was born. And had Mary video with Melinda doing photography. What I didn't know was through this all they were all by the door listening to us. I was so overwhelmed throughout the whole labor with how amazing our families were...
     Anyways, back to labor.... I told Adam to give me a blessing and we stopped and he gave me a blessing right away. It was so tender and it talked about how sacred this little boy was. But most of all I had a prayer in my heart the whole time hoping that I had enough faith to help this little guy come out now. All I wanted was for him to be born alive and receive a name and a blessing. I could almost tangibly see thfe pleading I was doing with the Lord during the blessing. I knew I was not in good shape and he was not presenting how he should be coming.
      So all around we were all quite scared in the room. As I continued to push I was then determined he would come out. With one push in particular I guess part of him came out, but it was definitely feet and then butt. You could see the surprise look in Dr Beans face. When his entire body was out we all noticed he was completely engulfed and born in the sac. Literally they Laid his sac on me and the doc has to cut the sac and then this little body came out. I guess my 30 year veteran nurse said she had only seen this 2 times before this. The doc said it was so rare and when it happened it was a good omen and mean't and brought good luck.  We looked it up after and this happens to about 1 out of 80,000 births and has a huge spiritual significance.  With all the reading it talked about the characteristics of the person being born within the sac-they call it "end call".  We knew that it was a tender mercy to keep our sweet Brigham alive.  He definitely would not have made it without the 2 sacs of fluid protecting his brain and also if he went head first like a normal baby.  Everything worked out exactly how it was supposed to to get him here safely.
     Right when they laid him on my chest a nurse went out and got my dad and Adams dad. They both came in and Adam and two grandpas gave the most beautiful blessing. The spirit was so strong and you could feel the love of this little perfect boy. Right before the blessing we knew he was in critical condition because the doc told us the blessing needed to happen right then.  Adam and I both were very emotional and it was hard for me to close my eyes during the blessing, because I couldn't just help look at his beautiful body. During the blessing I could see him taking 2 breaths, which were very apparent he was not going to live for a little while.  He was born at 3:37 pm and lived until 4:12 pm.  He took very visible breaths at first and was coming out looking at Adam.  He held Adam's hand when he came out and even was moving around, but as time progressed we could see he was visibly getting more lethargic.  We could feel his heartbeat on his chest and also by holding his umbilical cord.
    Right after the blessing we had Olivia and Asia come in and see their brother first.  Olivia was instantly in love with her sweet brother. But Asia was a little worried about his umbilical cord. Brigham looked perfect and it was if he came out looking at us.  He had this perfect body almost big like a 6 lb baby, but because he didn't have the head weight he weighed 3 lb 14 ounces and was 17 inches long.
    We had the entire family come in and we were all encircled about him. He still had a heartbeat at this point but you could tell he was slowly down and quite tired. He had bruising on his legs especially because they were the ones in the birth canal for so long and sticking out when they weren't supposed to.  As we all watched in tears I asked Olivia if we should sing to him and of course she said yes. We all immediately started in song singing "families can be together forever".  Our whole room was filled with such a spirit of love and we had no doubt in our minds that veil was so thin and there were those in the other side joining us. We continued to sing primary songs and then as Olivia, Adam, Asia, and I held him his heart beat started to slow down. We would check it by holding the umbilical cord or even feel for a heartbeat by touching his chest. Adam and I both could feel is heartbeat, but over the next 35 mins his heart starting to slowly slow down and decrease. Before we new it he was gone.
     When he died it was hard and sad, but with all the family around us we felt okay. I was so overwhelmingly at peace because I just wanted him to take a few breathes and that's all he needed and exactly was happened. He fulfilled his mission at that point and there was nothing a mom could aid for better than knowing your sweet son was so perfect all he needed was a few breaths and he was all done with his life. After he passed we let the whole family individually hold our precious Brigham, we started with all the grandparents and my Dad was the first to hold. He was first starting to leave to give us space but I had someone go get him and I asked him if he wanted to hold him. He had no hesitation and could tell the love that Brigham was letting everyone be a part of. Everyone wanted to hold this boy because they had been a part of his journey for over 3 months. As we watched our sweet family hold him one by one in tears, I was overwhelmed with love and complete support from family on this side of the veil and ones in the other side as well.
    We dressed our little Briggs in his special outfit after giving him a bath with the girls. They adored him the entire time and Olivia even started tickling him and just loving on him. After that we took family pictures.  Adams cousin Melinda took amazing pictures.  As family started to trickle out we got to be with our little boy and loved every bit of it. Angel watch heather walker and Jackie came and helped us get molds and special imprints for him. We put his cute hand print and foot print on a baseball for Adam. We also made plaster molds of his hands and feet. All of it was so special. As it got later we let the girls hold him and start saying good night to their little brother. We didn't know when he would be leaving us so we wanted to make sure the girls could see him in the morning and then he would go to the funeral home.
     As the night started to get late my body was so exhausted and I knew I needed a little sleep, because the night before was spent contracting from the medications they gave me. The night nurse is named Maren and she set up another bed in my room so Adam could sleep with us. I didn't want to let Brigham go for the night and just lay him down, but I was so exhausted.  The nurse offered to hold him for a couple hours while I slept and then I could take him at 3:30 am to spend time with him. I was so grateful because I didn't want to let him go. She was such a sweetheart and cuddled him for me and then I got to spend the early morning hours snuggling with my sweet boy.

letter to family night before Brigham came

     We have planned to be induced in July 16th at American Fork Hospital.  We would love all the adult family to meet this precious boy.  We have already called the hospital to help make things work out as best as possible.  We will be induced in the morning and we would love to have anyone that wants to be there wait in a room together until he is born.  We can keep people updated as far as how labor is progressing, but we would like everyone to be there in a waiting room when he arrives.  This will give us optimal time to have everyone come in and we can have him blessed and then have pictures taken for about 15 mins. 

     After that we plan on having Our little family bathe him and spend as much time possible with him alone.  These babies can live for a couple mins or hours, but it is all unknown and we just want to be prepared.  Also, due to the circumstances we would ask only adults come to the hospital, if he lives longer than planned we can go from there.  We are hoping if he lives long enough we can take him home and have him die there with us, but this is a hope and very small chance of happening.

one more day with my Brigham!!!

This last week my emotions have been so close to the surface.  I can honestly say I am having such a hard time knowing how I am feeling.  I was telling Adam that my spirit understands the whole situation and I know I am a different person going through it, but my mortal body is hurting so bad. That love you have for your child is there and with knowing he won't be here long gives me so much pain.  I know that through the Atonement of Christ I can someday not feel the sting of death, but for now I am letting myself ache.. I am letting myself love this little Brigham with all my heart, even if it feels like my heart is tearing.  This is hard and to be quite honest it sucks, but and a BIG BUT at that I know that there is a purpose in this whole thing.  I know that Brigham is living the life that he needs to live and that I will someday get to raise this beautiful boy.  He is mine and will always be mine.
     So I went to the doctor today and I am good with my fundal height measurement at 39 weeks, but I still have way too much fluid.  The doc is wanting to make sure my body is ready for the induction on thursday so he is having me come in tomorrow night to get medications to help.  He is going to break my water and I could tell from him telling me that it is a risky thing.  He said he was going to use a small needle and hope it leaks out, but with all the pressure I could have 2 complications from it.  Both complications will result in Brigham dying immediately and me ending up in emergency C-section.  So this makes me extremely nervous to say the least.  I do have complete trust in him, but  more than that I have ultimate trust in God and his plan.  I do feel at peace that it will all work out as planned, but with that peace I am still full of faith and hoping to spend some time with my little man.      
     How do you prepare for a day like this?? I have been thinking about it all day and keep wondering what I need to be doing..  How I should be treasuring every second I have with him and not letting a kick go by without me cherishing those little legs.  I don't think anyone could ever prepare themselves for the first and last day they will be able to hold there little baby.  It is truly impossible to prepare for.
     One thing that gives me peace is knowing I gave Brigham my all.  I gave him every opportunity to live the life that we was supposed to live.  As a mother it gives me some relief, but that being said I would do it all again for this beautiful boy.  I truly believe I chose to be his mom in the pre-existance and I know he was meant for me.
I pray that I will be strong for tomorrow, but no matter what He is perfect in every way and he will return to our sweet Heavenly Father.