Letter from Mom

Dear Brigham,

From the day I found out I was pregnant with you my heart was filled with joy. I had been waiting to get pregnant so I was so happy to know it was finally happening.  I got sick while pregnant with you just like your sisters. I did decided to quit my job at the hospital and focus on making us both healthy around 12 weeks when I was on the verge of getting Iv fluids. I have been a nurse for a long time and that tends to be what I like to do, nurse people back to health.  

At our 14 week ultrasound we found out you were a little boy. Your daddy was so nervous he was sweating like the day we were going to be married. I knew you were a boy before the ultrasound tech announced it and I was so excited. Your dad started crying and we were over joyed that you were coming to us. We announced to the whole family that you were a boy by having your dad act like he was going to be choosing a team to play for. He had 2 baseball hats and he said some stuff and then announced he would be playing for team boy!!

When we found out about your diagnosis my heart was shattered. Me and dad both fell to the ground in despair. But as we prayed and continued in faith, you blessed us more in my womb than I could have ever imagined. I found so much comfort and peace with having you in my belly.  You were a mover and loved to let me know you were in there.  Olivia, Asia and I would feel you and just start laughing. They said you had a "lot of muscles" and you definitely liked to show them off in my womb. The doctor said babies with this condition do not move a lot, but this didn't apply to you.  

When we found out we bought shirts that had "Team Briggs" on them and decided to make and do everything to honor your life, even if it was only in the womb. We went on our "Brig-cation" and showed you all the special places that we wanted you to see.  You had so many people that loved you and supported us along the journey.  

I treasured everyday I had you in my belly, because that meant you were still mine. You brought a spirit into our home that was so sweet.  I knew you were special from the beginning and I wanted to do everything in my power to give you the best life you could have, even if it was only in my womb.

I started having some complications with high fluid.  But every week you kicked harder, you moved more and we knew that no matter what came you would fight through it.  Every week I would go to the doctor and check that you were okay and it brought such peace to hear that strong heart beat.

After a few months, We knew that you were going to be meeting us soon and it made me sad knowing that day could also be the first and last time I would see you.  The day came and we were blessed throughout the entire labor, you were such a fighter and made it out alive.  You looked at your daddy right when you came out and held and squeezed your daddy's hand.  After you were blessed you were sang to by all our wonderful family.  You lived an amazing 35 mins and it was all surrounded by family that truly adored you.  Even the nurses and hospital staff felt your spirit the entire stay in the hospital.  We got to hold you for 24 hours and I can't tell you how much I loved holding your sweet body.

Now that you are with our Heavenly Father I have missed you beyond words and will always yearn to have you here on earth, but with all the heartache I know you are watching over me, your dad, and your sisters.  I feel so honored to have carried you in my womb and be your mom.     I promise I will live my life in a way to be with you again. You have shown a lot of people about love and taught us all about this wonderful plan Heavenly Father has for us. Olivia , Asia and me and your dad love you dearly.

Love,

Your mom